I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize