Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
