so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
