I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
