Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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