Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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