Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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