Ambien. No doubt about it.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
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