love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
