How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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