Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Randomize
