sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Randomize