I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
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