My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Randomize
