So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
