im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Alive.
So much puke
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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