just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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