5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
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