Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
