well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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