i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
