carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Randomize
