I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
too bad you live with your parents still
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Do vagina's smell?
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Randomize
