): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
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