I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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