YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
