hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
