my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
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