a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
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