ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
