I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
