went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize