Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
