My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
this just has baby written all over it
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
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