We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
