I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
