You're so nebulous sometimes
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Randomize
