Can i not drive my cunt home
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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