She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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