I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
