Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize