Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
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