He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
