We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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