so that wasnt chicken after all
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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