Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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