covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
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