well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Randomize
