That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
