But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
