if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
