So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
she smelled like a LAN party
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
