I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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