I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
