I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
