So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
