God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Randomize
