Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
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