is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
