he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
