everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
