Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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