Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
