Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
