oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Randomize
