I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
We named our party play list daddy issues
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Randomize
