Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
