Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Randomize
